Saturday, April 13, 2013

L is for Loyalty

My best friend and I have known each other from first grade. We sat in class next to each other for almost eight years, and now that I've moved, we regularly talk and chat on Skype. Anyway, we have a really strong sense of loyalty. You know, being best friends and all. A few days ago, she popped the question. No, we're not getting married, silly. We both type unnaturally fast, and don't wait for the other to reply. The whole conversation lasted about three minutes (we type and think fast), and here's how it went. 

BF: hey u. wud u take a bullet 4 me
This is one of those questions that makes me sit back and think deeply, only to realize I don't know the answer. Kind of like those 'about you' prompts.
Me: i dunno. why?
Remember, she still hasn't read my answer to her question before sending the next statement. We both sent messages at approximately the same time, and mine just appeared a second before hers.
BF: like i wud 4 u
Way to make me feel like a tool
Me: but why would i take a bullet
Does this girl have the authorities running after her? Is she involved in gangs? I though home schooled kids were all nice and good. She shouldn't even be thinking about bullets.
BF: just asking you dweeb
See, I felt bad when I didn't say I'd take the bullet for her when she said it so quick, but then she calls me dweeb, and I don't feel bad anymore
Me: like, why would u even be shot at?
This is called avoiding the question. I learned from the best.
BF: haha, so logical
Now is that a compliment?
Me: plus, the only way for me to take the bullet for you is to step in its way while its making its way to u
Which couldn't happen because we're so far away. Drop the question already.
BF: duh
Duh you. In case you haven't realized, we're on opposite sides of the world, you dweeb. 
Me: but we are on opposite sides of the earth
I'm her best friend. I have to point out obvious thing. It's my job, among other things. 
BF: so wud you? my mom asked me, and if i had a friend i would take it for, and i said you
Wow - this was all with your mom?
Me: in theory, i geuss i would...
Key word here being 'theory'. Theories are often proven to be false. 
Me: but i don't have fast enough reflexes to get in the bullets way while it's sailing towards you, and anyway, i'd see the gun and pee in my pants and...i dunno...faint maybe? So yeah, I'd probably end up not taking the bullet for u
I'm not kidding. I bet she thinks I'm kidding. 
BF: aww, thank you
She still hasn't read my last message.
BF: oh
Now she's read it.
BF: rofl 
She still thinks I'm kidding.
Me:  ;)
I'll just let her believe I'm kidding.

I shall not even try to define loyalty. Actually, I know a lot about loyalty. This is my and a close friend. Obviously, we're just fooling around. I have my dignity, you know.