Monday, May 27, 2013

The Wonders of Wondering

People are really weird. I mean, just get on YahooAnswers and take a look at the questions people ask. Some people talk to themselves. Others...I dunno, do other weird stuff. I wonder. I recently discovered a plethora of websites about mentally ill and weird people, since I did an essay on Richard Brandon (he was probably the executioner of Charles I) and Andrea Yates (drowned her kids, all five of them), and so there were the original research websites. Also, Google brings up that "people who searched this also searched for..." and gives you a list of similar people (ever hear of the teen who threw her newborn baby in her high school bathroom trashcan?). And then, on the actual websites, there are all those side links to similar or interesting articles. I also click on those. A lot. Like every single one. Because they're on there for a reason, right? Anyway, I ended up with two seven page reports on killers and an encyclopedia of weird, interesting, and downright creepy information. Lots of creepy information. Of course, I wonder what it feels like to be mentally ill or crazy. to do the stuff those people do. How do they feel? How does the world look in their eyes? I also came across those missing persons reports, and the stories behind how those people go missing is absolutely horrifying. I am never leaving any doors or windows open in the house, never leaving a kid in the car, never going to the theaters, never getting a job, never walking by myself, and never ever stepping out of my soon to be iron-encased room without a big big can or pepper spray. Hot Jalapeno chilli pepper spray. And when I'm safe in my iron-encased room, I'll lie back and wonder what happened to those missing people. Did they die, or are they living another life in some other place? I'll wonder about those missing people. What I also wonder about is the enormous amount of blogs with few or no blog posts, or blogs that stopped updating years ago. Who's behind them? What happened to them? How would anybody know? Of course, I wonder about other stuff too. Like if the red I see is the same red you see, or if I see humans to be white or black, you see them as green or purple, except your green and purple are my white and black, and everything is all mixed up. I wonder about how it feels to be so fat and take up so much space, and how all the thin people can stand feeling their ribcage and bones every time they touch something. I wonder about why people love the movie ET so much, and how books can make an income, and how years after their publication, those same books are still making an income. I wonder how it feels to not need glasses, and how it feels to put on contacts, and how it feels to put on other weird things, and how it everything looks for six months before your doctor says you need glasses and they end up being the extra thick, extra strong ones. I wonder how I can possibly think and remember and do all the stuff I want, and imagine my life when it's organized and I am never messy or overly stressed. I imagine having so much money, so I can give it to those people with the sad stories who are thankful of what they have and not wallowing in pity or sadness or anger, who are so nice and happy you'd think they had everything they ever wanted when they really don't. I wonder what people who gaze at stars or are always lost in thought think about, and why I love to talk but can't stand overly talkative people, and why I always imagine a fly when a person doesn't stop talking it becomes annoying. I imagine a publisher coming across this blog and discovering this post and believing he's found  hidden gem, instead of a random visitor thinking I sound like a hyperactive 12-year-old. Also, if you're the random visitor, or even if you're the publisher, can you please let me know where I can buy pepper spray, and how the heck I'm supposed to take it out of my purse, aim at the eyes, and fire, before the person attempting to kidnap me actually gets to me from two feet away? Thank you, and all responses are much appreciated. I hope you enjoyed that and I'm not kidding about the pepper spray. Although I'm thinking a paintball gun would also be kind of cool.